Getting Right with the Ancestors

An important part of doing the work to “Know Thyself” in pursuit of wisdom and lessening the cycles of suffering in ones life is getting right with the ancestors. One thing that all humans have in common is that they came from someone. Whether they were loving and nurturing caretakers that carried us into adulthood, woefully inadequate, generally ok enough, absent altogether or anywhere along that color wheel, they all did one thing - and that is pass along the gift of life. I can feel the way some folks will crinkle their nose at the very idea of this life being a gift but I ask you, hang in there for this.

There is no unwinding your DNA, it will carry you to ash or strange preservative or organic matter. For those of you who feel a great fullness in your heart and a deep sense of gratitude for the place you are and places you have been, I love that for you and I see you. May that nurture you for the rest of your days. For the rest of us, life doesn’t always feel like a gift. There are nearly immeasurable ways in which our formative years have a deep and lasting impact on the quality of our lives not just in the moment but in the way we learn in trust, interact, and believe in the world around us. Many of those meaning making faculties didn’t start with you, but are a part of a greater intergenerational nexus of ancestral habits and hardships that were unconsciously passed onto the children therein. Those patterns go on in and through us to impact the social networks we are a part of, proliferating until we make them conscious and decide to want, do and act in healthier ways. Sometimes we need a helping hand to do so, because,

Knowing is not enough.

If we are to embark down this road of discovery, how and where do our ancestors show up? From a post-tribal shamanic perspective they comprise the whole of our ancestral soul. They are the mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers that came together by whatever force to make life. If we were to use the metaphor of a tree to describe the where in the life force that we are shows up, I would point to the roots. It is on their shoulders in which the trunks and branches of us stand and walk through this world with, for better or worse. It’s our blood and bones, our gestative and pre-self being. It is what we inherit, our birth right of senses, with sensitivity for those that by injury or blueprint must find workarounds - touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight, thinking, feeling, believing, dreaming - our comfort in the heartbeat, the suckling response, and noise making to convey meaning. Never are we closer to the ancestors than when we are in this window of life - the not yet self. Here we learn how the world responds to our needs for comfort and sustenance, connection and care. How our nature is met with nurturing will shape the rest of our human experience.

Here is where we receive our relational blueprints, to people, places and things. Psychology frames this as theories of attachment - I’m anxious! He’s avoidant! Why are we like this! - it is great work towards but in no way holistic lensing on the complexities of relationality. From our earliest inklings of self at about 18 months old for most folks, we are building an identity within the context of our environs. Our predispositions and capacities really begin to shine during this period, our hard and soft wiring gelling with our ancestral soul to form our vital soul, that which we identify as the total of “I”, body, heart, mind and spirit in this lifetime. Subsequent years build on this platform to carry us for the rest of our days. Sometimes that I we get to carry around gets lost or needs readjustment, it is so natural and right to need or want a hand out of situations that leave you deeply unsatisfied or suffering. Whatever the rugged individualist capitalist hellscape we find ourselves in, we are in this boat together and are inherently social primates at our base.

Working at a soul level does not require that we have language to articulate our experience in order to process and heal. We do not need ordinary means, such as is done in traditional psychotherapies or chemical interventions. (Please do though, work with your psychologist or psychiatrist if you are currently under their care, their domains are also of import to health and well-being). These parts of self that call for an alternative method of engagement are naturally and tenderly unique to every individual, the stories around them tend to be part of the greater ancestral or human narrative. Together we can come to meet these parts of self and soul in ways that fortify the client, interrogating those internal prescriptions to begin the process of building a truer reality, oftentimes handing back the weightedness of shortcomings back to where they belong, the offenders. When we tap into the hierarchal ladder of responsibilities to retrieve our previously misspent energies, those sticky things that have left us pressured or drained, it frees us from the very well of our being to engage with the world in more fulfilling and healthier ways.

Our time here is finite. It is possible for every single person, no matter their place or provenance, to have a richer, fuller more meaningful human experience. There is a way out of the labyrinth. This doesn’t negate or bypass the experiences that have deeply wounded or impacted you, the opposite really, but begins to pull you from the pits of stuckness, smoothing the worst of the swords at the bottom, soothing raw nerves, reconnecting you to your own source of generative power. There is a way to co-create a reality in the context of where you are and where you want to be, make peace with what is, and forge forth with a deep sense of purpose, charity, and well-being.

This is made so much easier when we begin to free the gunk from the connections to those who came before us. Notice save this sentence I have not used the word forgiveness anywhere in here. There is a reason for that, and if you’re curious to know more lets chat. We can come to know how to care for and sustain our bodies. We can come to know our deepest loves, passions, cares and drives. We can come to know utter clarity and stillness of mind, an open-skied and fortified castle of thought. We can come to know what truly inspires us and participate in community and place to enrich our lives. This all begins with getting right with the ancestors, and I’d love to walk that road with you.

Quick exercise: close your eyes in a seated position. Take a few breaths and let go of the thought train. If you can, sense where you feel your maternal line in your body or field. Make note of any sensations or impressions you may have around that. Perhaps write them down if you’re a journaler. Consciously center, letting that go. Do the same for your paternal side. Again note the impressions or sense material you get when you tap into that. If you can, reflect on anything, anything you may perceive as a gift from them, whether that’s your jawline or sense of humor or if you’re like my brother, a great head of hair. If you find yourself sticking to unpleasant inheritances, gently as you can, set them back down and return to a few breaths, ending the exercise. Whatever it is, its all information that will inform how you want to proceed.

Please visit onecenter.space and use the contact form if you have any questions or would like someone to work with on this.